PRESSING QUESTIONS FOR ‘I AM LEGEND’

  1. Who am legend?
  2. In the script, next to the part where Robert Nevil mentions his favorite album is Bob Marley’s Legend, did the Akiva Goldsmith (more like “Shitsmith”!) include a parenthetical note that said “(get it? LEGEND. Because he am legend???!!!??)” And then, later, did Akiva stick around the set to make sure that bit of character information was retained, and lock himself in his 5-star hotel suite for several hours when there was some concern about getting the licensing rights to all those Bob Marley songs we used to listen to in the common area of our dorm? And does Akiva Goldsmith still ask people if they caught that connection, between the album title and film title, after they’ve seen the film?
  3. Before you added all those vampires with cancer, was I AM LEGEND an unofficial sequel to Mannequin? There was a lot of mannequin screen time in the film, and a lot of good human-mannequin repartée, is all I’m saying. I couldn’t help thinking about how much fun it would have been to watch Robert Nevil go on a blind date with that mannequin he had his eye on, and try to feed her soup. Or slow dance, or maybe take a carriage ride around Central Park. Just saying. Follow-up question: Was the role of Robert Nevil originally written for Meshach Taylor? Did any of the crew slip up and call Will Smith’s character “Montrose?”
  4. How many push-ups can Will Smith do without taking a break? Will that be in the DVD extras? Did Will Smith fight to include that full set of behind-the-neck hanging pull-ups?
  5. Dash Mihok played one of the Geico Cavemen in the original ABC pilot. In I AM LEGEND, he plays a fully CGI vampire with cancer. (or is it cancer patient with vampirism?) I guess my question is, during the filming of I AM LEGEND was Dash Mihok on suicide watch?
  6. Why didn’t any of the trailers and commercials for I AM LEGEND include scenes from Shrek, particularly since I AM LEGEND itself contained (from my estimation) almost 45 minutes of footage from Shrek?
  7. Is it OK to bring my kids to I AM LEGEND, just for the extended Shrek footage?
  8. In addition to Robert Nevil and Cancer Vampire Leader action figures, are there any plans to include sell I AM LEGEND special edition Shrek figurines?
  9. Since Will Smith is a Scientologist, were all the cancer-pires “clear”? Was his character entitled to a daily, free stress test?
  10. If Manhattan was quarantined, and all road access between the island and everywhere else was eliminated, then how did that lady–oh, forget it.

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