Sean Combs aka P. Diddy aka One of Hip-Hop Entertainment’s Most Distinguished Black Nerds* has decided it’s time to make himself culturally relevant again. After it became clear that no one else was feeling his very calculated “Making of the Band” catchphrase, Diddy took matters into his own jewel-encrusted hands by tapping Sean John clothing to create a special line “NO BITCHASSNESS” t-shirts. As you can probably imagine, they’re as beautiful as they are subtle:
Of course, he’s already taken some heat for these shirts, mostly from people who exhibit unusually high levels of bitchassness. Like the “Stop Snitchin'” campaign, a lot of cultural critics will probably find this kind of message irresponsible and sort of intolerant. And sure, that controversy might buy Diddy a few extra minutes of screen time on FOX News’ “Red Eye” or a small piece of real estate in the front of Entertainment Weekly, but he has to remember he’s no longer a street-level player. These days he’s a national treasure and his words strike at the very heart of our young ones. I guess what I’m saying is, Diddy, if you’re listening–maybe you’ve been spending the day surfing the Web over fellow-black-nerd Kanye West’s shoulder and, after arguing about which Coach leather toilet seat Kanye should link up on his own blog today, you were all “I wonder if that bitchassness over at tremble.com has been updated in this calendar year”–I know you don’t like to do things half way, but maybe you need to chill your zero tolerance policy on the subject of bitchassness. You’re going to make kids cry. Lots of kids. Kids who might have otherwise auditioned for “Making of the Band,” giving you one more great season of black teens with neck tattoos, cursing and fighting until their pants fall down.
Please, Diddy, don’t hurt them before they can hurt themselves and each other. Consider a path of greater understanding:
I know you’re an uncompromising genius–everyone knows how hard you killed it on the Godzilla soundtrack, man–but sometimes compromise is just what you need to spread your message. Spoonful of sugar, Hamburger.
*(hip-hop’s other distinguished black nerds include: Prince Paul, DJ Premier, MC Serch, Ludacris, Talib Kweli, Jay-Z and hip-hop’s original black nerd, Russell Simmons. ironically, the members of N*E*R*D are not nerds.)
