ON THE AISLE

Two men discussing the movie 300, in line at the supermarket:

MAN 1: Yo, them niggas was fierce.

MAN 2: I’m sayin’…that was like 1,000 of them Spartan niggas up against like 100,000 of them other niggas.

MAN 1: Nah, nah, man. There was 300 of them Spartan niggas.

MAN 2: I don’t think so. I seen it and there was something’ like, a thousand niggas and shit. But they was up against 100,000 of them niggas. That is some crazy sh—

MAN 1: Nah, man. I think they was just 300 of thems.

MAN 2: I don’t know about that, dude.

MAN 1: Yeah, man, that’s why they called that shit 300. ‘Cause it was something like 300 of them Spartan niggas.

MAN 2: For real? Aight. But damn. Knowwhati’msayin’?

MAN 1: You know what? This is why I love you, man.

MAN 2: Huh?

MAN 1: I don’t know. It’s, like, your little idiosyncrasies and shit. I think them shits is adorable.

MAN 2: For real, man? I can’t look you in the eyes right now, son, because I feel like I’d just fall right inside them and get all fuckin’ lost forever and shit.

MAN 1: You know you my nigga, right? You got my heart.

MAN 2: True. You not only my lover, son. You be like my best nigga, too. Damn, son. Damn.

MAN 1: (to others in line) What you got something wrong with your eyes, motherfuckers? You ain’t never seen two gangstas talkin’ about movies before?

(This is when I ran out of the store.)

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