Well yes, OK, it’s my birthday today. Is that a plea for strangers to attack my Amazon wish list or assault me with ecards from fundamentalist Christian web sites? (of course, carefully chosen for maximum ironic effect: “holy shit! i am totally sending this picture of christ healing a leper with this MIDI of the axel f. theme for background music! i can’t believe this shit!!! christians are a-holes.”) Yes. yes it is.
No. Not really. But here’s something funny, to me at least. I woke up on my official birthday, at 3:30am, from being passed out on my couch in a seated position. My cats were right by my side, judging me silently. (i was drowsy, but i’m nearly positive i heard one of them mumble, “prick” under her breath.) On my computer were two extremely kind ‘happy birthday’ emails that had the unfortunate effect of making me more blue than happy, for reasons all my own. This morning, as I hunched over from the great stabbing pain of last evening’s tragic eggroll dinner, I thought my day was already too loaded with terrible omens to continue with my head up. I even took a cab to work today, just so I wouldn’t have to crawl underground.
When I arrived at someone else’s office, there were a few more emails and this time I almost lost it. But for good reasons. I can’t believe some of these people even knew it was my birthday. (god i feel so funny typing the words ‘my birthday’. it makes me feel like a gigantic baby. this is one of my least endearing character tics. i crave attention, but don’t take well to receiving it.) I can’t believe I was feeling so damn self-piteous this morning when there are so many arguments to be made to the contrary. One more year with my hair intact, my weight semi-normal, my brain functioning (mostly), my furniture tasteful, my sex drive respectable, my cell phone adorable, my family close, my friends even closer, and my CD collection still modestly winning its struggle against becoming hopelessly square. All in all, it’s shaping up to be a nice day.
P.S. Had a rehearsal for the reading coming up this thursday night (DO ATTEND!) and I learned two valuable lessons about the way I write. First, I love long sentences. And second, I think patterns of three are really funny. I need to be aware of the first and overcome the second. I also learned that the actors are really excellent.
