Right on the heels of last month’s most heavily forwarded web site, “Cool 2B Real”, comes the less-beef-more-pork “Pork 4 Kids”. Are kids turning their backs on fatty meats? Why is the meat industry mobilizing like this? I must have missed out on a worldwide symposium somewhere.
Where Cool 2B Real bordered on insidious in its shady insinuation that beef consumption keeps teenage girls true to themselves, Pork 4 Kids is merely lazy and misguided. And infinitely more insane for its effort-without-effort approach to educating children. It’s almost as if the Pork 4 Kids people don’t believe their own agenda. I can’t think of any other way of explaining their defeatist approach to persuasion.
Here’s an example: click on the male character and show your affinity for pork by coloring a chef’s hat. Don’t worry. It only takes TWO clicks to color it since there are just two areas to fill in. Sweet. That leaves more time to eat bacon! Or click on the girlie to read the most long-winded cartoon ever dedicated to a better understanding of pork. It tells the very lonely tale of a pork chop named Peggy on a quest to discover which food group she belongs in. After about 15 pages of missed connections alternating with long, sweeping shots of a pork chop dragging itself across a meadow, Peggy meets (or should i say ‘meats’? i shouldn’t? ok, i won’t.) Robert Rib Roast and Henry Ham. And, not to spoil it for you but, yes, they all fuck.
There are seven other ways this site is terrible. Can you name them all?
