The Mother Said, “I hope everyone likes raisins.”
The Father Said, “It’s about time someone in this family did something.”
The Mother Said, “I hardly recognize you with that beard.”
The Brother Said, “I’m gonna finish this in the family room.”
The Sister Thought, “alone.”
The Mother Said, “Is that all you’re going to eat?”
The Father Said, “You’d better not be gambling again.”
The Brother Said, “…”
The Mother Said, “I have room for more grandchildren.”
The Father Said, “I have room for more dinner rolls.”
The Sister Said, “He said he just needed a little more space.”
The Mother Said, “It’s temporary.”
The Father Agreed, “It’s temporary.”
The Brother Cried, “Motherfucking Deadleg!”
The Mother Said, “This is what I am thankful for.”
The Father Said, “Too many raisins.”
The Stuffing Agreed, “Too many raisins.”
The Raisins Thought, “Either way, I guess we’re fucked.”
The Mother Asked, “Does anyone need more Pepsi?”
The Sister Said, “I’m empty.”
The Father Said, “I’m empty.”
The Brother Said, “I’m empty.”
The Pepsi Said, “I can help you, but just for tonight.”
