HOW TO ADMIT YOU’RE ONE IN A BILLION

Today I received an email with the following subject line: “You want rock hard abs and better defined muscle.” I was 100% positive it was just a junk mail advertisement for nothing I would ever throw money at in a million years. However, I opened it anyway because I was thinking, “I do want rock hard abs and better defined muscle.”

I guess by opening it I was just trying to say, “yeah, you got me.”

p.s. While I was struggling with ideas for tomorrow night’s HOW TO KICK PEOPLE (I hope to see you there) I wrote this joke: “I was home-schooled, and I think being taught alone, at home, made it easier to concentrate on my education. In fact, I graduated salutatorian.” sigh. (what’s the emoticon for “swallowing strychnine”?)

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