Dialogue with a Chipotle Mexican Grill Server
[It should be noted at Chipotle rules dictate tacos are to be ordered in groups of three (soft) or four (hard). A similar exchange, with a completely different server, occurred two weeks ago, and resulted in my order being totally fucked up – then donated to, and rejected by, a homeless man.]
Me: Hi.
CMGS: Hola. What’choo need?
Me: I’d like two tacos –
CMGS: Que?!?!???
Me: I’d like two tacos – one veggie in a soft shell, and one chicken in a hard shell.
CMGS: Three veggie?
Me: No. Two tacos total. ONE veggie, in a soft shell. ONE chicken taco, in a hard shell.
CMGS: eh sof’ shell?
Me: Yes, the veggie.
CMGS: You want veggie?
Me: Please, but only one. And in a soft shell. I would also like a chicken in a hard shell.
CMGS: No problem.
(CMGS takes three soft, flour tortillas from a large stack and places them, with shaky certainty, in the steamer.)
Me: (in my head) He still thinks I’m ordering three tacos. I hate this place so much.
(CMGS removes three tortillas from the steamer and places them on a tray. He looks at me, curious.)
CMGS: So…
Me: So…
CMGS: Here we go.
Me: OK, you know I only want two tacos, right?
CMGS: Si!
Me: So…you know you have three tortillas there, and none of them are hard shells?
CMGS: OK, two tacos!
(CMGS removes two of the soft tortillas and replaces them with a single hard shell.)
CMGS: What you need?
Chipotle Mexican Grill – I’m sorry I BLEW YOUR MIND.
