HOW TO BENEFIT FROM LIVING IN A BLEEDING-HEART LIBERAL NEIGHBORHOOD

I called my catsitter today, to spend time with the ladies. When I asked if I needed to pay her extra cash for the holidays – she accepts cash but, like most middle-aged lady catsitters, will also accept payment in the form of romance novels or tea balls – she hung on the line for a moment, then said, “nah…I’m not going to charge you for this holiday, because I’m not feeling very Republican today.” (Today, not coincidentally being the day Sandra Day O’Connor retired and, with her, the last shreds of possibility that our current Supreme Court won’t overturn Roe Vs. Wade and the Scopes Monkey case.)

It’s nice knowing that my catsitter’s hatred of America trickles down to me saving a few dollars off poop-scooping duties. Dog bless Park Slope! (See what I did?!)

HAVE A LOVELY FOURTH OF JULY HOLIDAY, EVERYONE. (CATSITTER EXCEPTED) I’VE GONE FISHIN’.

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