If you visit The Morning News today, you can read something new I wrote for them. It’s called “Television: How Novel,” a round-up of selections from some of my favorite television novelizations over the last several decades. There are just a few there, because my word-count was limited.
However, as a tremble.com reader bonus, here’s a novelization that didn’t make the cut. Last season, HBO Publishing (their tag line: “They’re not books—they’re HBOOKS”) released a series of short, one-act plays based on their hit show Entourage. The plays are sort of Cliff’s Notes versions of the show, distilling the plot of each episode into a single, essential scene. Here’s one, from the third volume of these published plays, called, “The Phone Call.”
The guys are sitting around their kitchen island, as Drama dishes out portions of his high-protein spirulina scramble.
DRAMA
Bro…
TURTLE
Old!
ERIC
Virgin.
VINCE
(smiling) Guys…
Vince holds up and jangles a set of keys to the new 2008 Mercedes Hovercraft.
ALL
Definitely!
Vince’s iPhone rings. It is Ari.
In a darkened section of the stage, a lone spotlight illuminates Ari, dressed in a Helmut Lang suit, walking on a treadmill. He is squeezing a hand-strengthener with his free hand.
ARI
Have you seen the numbers?
VINCE
Bad?
ARI
Yeah…if this was OPPOSITE DAY! We’re rich, bitch! Meet me at the Malibu Tit-Off in 30 minutes. We’re celebrating, boys!
Blackout. During scene change, we hear the latest hyphy song.
