Do you have a computer??? If so, this month’s RADAR 100 list is now online, too. 100 Ways We’re Trying to Go Green. I’m really happy with the way this list turned out, and which of my items were chosen. However, among my personal submissions that did not make the cut, this was probably my favorite: Conserving energy by switching to low-fives. Here were a few more I liked that didn’t make it into the 100:

  • No longer draining lake every time that black family swims in it
  • Now using both sides of toilet paper (they used a variation on this, which i’d submitted as an alternative: “After first use, turning condoms inside-out”)
  • Recycling Austin Powers impression from 1999
  • For sideshow act, eating only compact fluorescent bulbs
  • Imprisoning the cute girl from the coffee shop in a gigantic jar made of recyclable plastic
  • Trying to reverse global warming by acting extra cool
  • Planting some queer-ass trees and shit
  • Searching for clues for reversing climate change in Presidential Book of Secrets
  • TiVo’ing anything featuring Seth Green
  • From now on, only having anonymous gay sex with pro-environment senators (topical!)

And the winner of my “I am the only person who will find this joke amusing but I’m going to submit it, anyway” award for this list: Switching from bottled to boxed water

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